Beyond Modesty

Modesty seems to be a sore subject for women these days. Many girls think it’s some kind of stifling, sexist idea or an outdated religious rule, while others just don’t see the point. I’ve been there, thought all those things at some point. I wrote this for anyone who wants to know what modesty’s really about.

But first, a definition.

modesty, n.

behavior, manner, or appearance intended to avoid impropriety or indecency.

Most of us automatically think of clothing when we hear the word “modesty,” but that’s only one part of something greater. Modesty is more of a lifestyle than a to-do list. Worldly standards of modesty (especially concerning clothes) have changed countless times throughout history. I’m not here to judge your outfit; that’s Holy Spirit’s job. Instead, I want to discuss what the Bible says about modesty.

“Therefore I want the men everywhere to pray, lifting up holy hands without anger or disputing. I 

also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.”

1 Timothy 2:8-10 (NIV)

The context of this passage is key. Paul is discussing worship. The verse about modesty is something of a tangent here, because it’s a unique way women can worship God. Worship can look like many things, but it is always a response to the acknowledgment of Who God Is. Modesty, therefore, is the creation’s response to her Creator. 

So we see that modesty is not an oppressive external regulation, but rather evidence of a worshipful heart. (By the way, no one is dissing your fancy weave or your gold studs. Paul was trying to make a point, not a law.) Modesty is an invitation to worship God of our own free will. We’re his daughters, and he wants us to make mature decisions, just as any father would!

Before modesty happens on the outside, something has to happen on the inside: the fear of the Lord. Modesty isn’t restrictive, it’s empowering. It contributes to a culture of honor, which is a Kingdom perspective we need to have. Honor is a choice people make because they value something. How much do you value yourself? People can tell by the clothing you wear, the words you speak. 

The goal is simply to honor God, honor others, and honor our own bodies. Do some research; this is a biblical principle. God is honored when we are covered — not because our bodies are shameful, but because they are sacred. Covering our bodies says, “Elohim has done a good job with me.” God is also honored when we behave decently; setting a good example for those around us (1 Tim. 4:12).

“"I have the right to do anything," you say--but not everything is beneficial. "I have the right to do anything"--but not everything is constructive.” 

1 Corinthians 10:23 (NIV)

God wants us to understand our value and make choices accordingly. It’s selfish to ignore the fact that immodest clothing and behavior will have a negative effect on others, especially men. If we truly honor God, we’ll die to our flesh and choose maturity, which is a step beyond modesty.

Ladies, I think it’s time we got a clue. It would be nice if we could wear whatever we wanted and say, “Guys should just control themselves.” Yeah, they should, and some do (God bless men of noble character!), but we have self-control as well. If we shift all the responsibility onto the men, we miss our chance to be powerful women of influence! 

Our words, our actions, and (like it or not) our clothing makes an impact on everyone around us. Modesty isn’t some pointless, sexist rule. It is the fruit of a relationship with Elohim — Creator God. When you have a relationship with your father, he speaks to you daily about what he likes and doesn’t like. Choosing modesty is a simple way to worship God, and by doing so we set the standard for everyone around us. It’s time to look beyond small-minded ideas of modesty and start living like we’re loved.